Friends or Defriending

Friends or Defriending
Sunday’s New York Times had a well-written story about friendships and how to end them. The real thing we need to think about is who are our friends and when were they our friends?

During the course of one’s lifetime friends come and go. But who are the real friends? I think in Chris Rock’s recent play Motherf**ker With the Hat hit it right on the head. Rock’s character made it clear that your friends are the ones you’ve had since an early age. The people you knew when you were in college and before.

I must say this is very true. But in my case, I am happy to report I’ve been fortunate enough to make a few lifelong friends in my mid-thirties. Both I met through my previous workplace. In one case, our respective companies had a tech partnership. The individual and I worked together on numerous PR announcements. Then spent a few days hanging out in the pressroom at the San Jose Convention Center during the famous VON show. We bonded. I miss those shows.

The other I met through marketing partnership my company did with Yahoo! during the holiday season. She was one of the cool, pretty people working our booth. I got to help her celebrate her birthday.

In the case of both of these people, I talk to them regularly. In one case, I’ve met the person’s family and have been to many family events. I even traveled to Jerusalem to attend her son’s Bar Mitzvah. The other person has visited me when she’s in NYC and we’ve hung out along our travels to Vegas or mine to the City of Angels. I wish they lived in NYC.

Of course, in the case of Rock’s character’s statement, my camp and college friends are a perfect example of what his character expressed. We grew up together. Some have known me since I was 12 and first hiked up the famous Hill, which you can’t beat. Not a day goes by when we don’t chat electronically and relive the years we spent in Chappy. While at the same time we create new memories and bizarre stories.

As for the fraternity crowd, I was with several of my brothers last weekend. Nothing’s changed. Yeah, some of us have grown up. Not sure anyone in the camp crowd has or will ever. But that’s what keeps us so tight. Back to the frat.

We spent that precious end of our teen year’s time to turning 21 together. We graduated and entered the “real” world. But we still remember what it was like on the Tripping Fields, the “delicious” food in the Rat, hangin’ in Thesis and going to classes.
I still chat with some of my elementary school friends on Facebook. But that’s about all we do. They are good people. It’d be neat to see them.

One thing I wonder is if I just met those people today would I befriend them? I think the answer in most cases is clearly yes. I think they are the people I trust and care about most.